Sunday, May 22, 2011

Six Sentence Sunday 5-22-11

I finished the rough draft of my novella, Jane's Second Soldier, on Friday, and I'll be setting it aside for at least several weeks. I know it's not ready to submit as it stands, and I need some space before I can decide how much work it needs and whether I'm willing to commit to it.

Now I'm working on both my historical fantasy, Wolf & Huntress, and a new historical romance whose working title is The General's Mouse. Since none of the new sections from W&H made a nice SSS post, I'm posting the first six sentences of my newest manuscript. It's January 1815, and the scene is on a Royal Navy frigate returning from North America. They've just met a ship bound in the opposite direction bearing news of the treaty ending the War of 1812. My hero, a young general whose entire career has been based on his prowess at war, isn't sure what to think of peace:

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“To peace!”

Dutifully Jack lifted his glass. “To peace,” he echoed, along with the rest of the officers dining at Captain Tizley’s table.

How many of them truly want peace? Jack wondered as he downed his wine. He couldn’t honestly say he did. After the debacle at Plattsburgh, he had intended to plead with Horse Guards for an independent command.

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Comments and feedback always appreciated (keeping in mind that this is the rough draft of something I just started yesterday!). And visit the Six Sunday blog to view other authors' contributions.

31 comments:

  1. Congrats on completing your mss! Revision's where the real story will shine through. Great six.

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  2. Great historical perspective, delving into uncomfortable truths through your hero--war can be a profitable enterprise.

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  3. I love how he is unsure how he feels about the idea of peace, considering war is what he knows! Great six and congrats on starting a new work!

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  4. Interesting character. Great six!

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  5. Great introduction of his internal conflict. Good job. And congrats on finishing your first draft. This would be where the fun really starts for me. I love doing the second draft.

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  6. Love the internal conflict he shows.

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  7. This is a first draft? Wow. It's packed with great stuff and makes me want to read more.

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  8. Yes, do they really want peace? Great internal dialogue.

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  9. Sounds like he has something planned. Nice six!

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  10. I don't understand him, but I know where he comes from to think like that! :-) Great 6!
    Barb

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  11. nice post. Good job on a first draft

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  12. LOL. I am sure that most of them feel that way. Enjoyed your six.

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  13. I like the gentle cynicism here. Nice six!

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  14. So fascinating that peace could end his career!

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  15. Great set-up! You just started it yesterday?? awesome!

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  16. Congrats on finishing the manuscript--very sensible to let it sit before the editing process. I like the hero's honesty and understandable ambition. Military careers thrive in action!

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  17. Congrats on finishing your draft. I like how thoughtful this guy is.

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  18. Wonder if he finds peace by the end of the book. I hope so. I like him already.

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  19. Congrats on finishing. And at least he's honest about what he thinks.

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  20. better to pretend than to draw attentions, right?

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  21. Congrats on your ms! Great six, too :)

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  22. Good choice to open with his ambivalence about peace. Adds nice depth to his character and pulls you right in.

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