Sunday, April 17, 2011

Six Sentence Sunday - more from Jane's Second Soldier

This week we're back in my historical romance novella WIP (1812 Spain, with the British army fighting Napoleon's forces), working title Jane's Second Soldier. Jane is with her new husband, Ben, who rescued her from the bully who was assaulting her when the story opened. He had to marry her right away to protect her, and they've had the problems you might expect from a couple who marry as near-strangers while one of them is still mourning her first love. But here they're having a moment of pure fun together for a change:

“That girl there–she’s offering kisses to every soldier who marches by!”

Ben turned and saw a pretty, dark-haired girl in a doorway, giggling and indeed bestowing mostly chaste kisses upon a line of happy redcoats.

“She’s well enough,” he said, “but you’re prettier.” And he set his hands on either side of Jane’s face and kissed her, there in the crowded, sunlit street. She stood stock-still for a moment, then melted against him, her hands coming up to span his shoulders.

For several precious seconds she leaned into him, and Ben forgot the noisy crowd around them, forgot the war, forgot his duties, forgot everything but the woman in his arms, her lips warm and soft under his, her hair sweet-smelling in the hot August sun.


Just to offer a little eye candy, I picture Ben as looking a bit like Sean Maher:



Comments and feedback always welcome--though please keep in mind that this is still in rough draft stage. Also, drop by the Six Sentence Sunday mothership to view other authors' work.

24 comments:

  1. Sweet and romantic. I hope they make it.

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  2. aww that's such a nice snippet! Great job!

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  3. Took me back in time... lovely snippet.

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  4. Oh, very sweet. It captures a moment perfectly.

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  5. SIMON! Sorry, stuffing rabid Firefly fangirl back in her cage. Oh, yeah, I can so picture him saying the "but you're prettier." Sweet Six, thanks for sharing.

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  6. Rabid Firefly fangirls are always welcome in these parts. :-)

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  7. I felt the sun and the kiss and the sweet moment in time. Wonderful six!

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  8. This is so sweet! But the cynic in me wonders where it's all going to go wrong.

    I need more romance in my soul, lol.

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  9. Nothing chaste about that kiss!

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  10. Oh, very nice. This is lovely writing.

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  11. That was so romantic. Thank you.

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  12. Really well done scene. I would love to be kissing my husband in Spain right this minute!

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  13. emotional and very romantic. Great love scene

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  14. This doesn't sound like a rough draft to me! You used all the senses and made the scene come alive.

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  15. So romantic. Such a tender moment and you brought it to life.

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  16. Beautifully worded to bring the reader in.

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  17. What a beautiful scene. I wonder...will the war tear them apart?

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