Sunday, May 15, 2011

Six Sentence Sunday - back to Jane's Second Soldier

Taking a couple weeks away from Wolf & Huntress to finish my first draft of Jane's Second Soldier, which I'd been neglecting, since it's so much more fun to play with a brand new manuscript you won't have to edit for MONTHS than to write the last chapter or two of one you know is going to need serious editing before you can send it out.

Anyway, here's a scene from early in Jane's Second Soldier. Her new husband, Ben, doesn't have a lot of experience with women, but he has fine instincts:

And then she began to sob. After a moment’s hesitation Ben set his bowl down, removed hers from her unresisting hands, and pulled her into his arms—though not without a covert glance to see if they were making a spectacle for the whole camp. The twilight seemed to be hiding them, or at least everyone was polite enough to pretend, so he turned his attention to his wife. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. He had never held a crying woman before. But he rocked her, and patted her shoulders, and smoothed her hair, and murmured things about how sorry he was, and that she should cry all she wanted, and he was there and he’d take care of her.


Six Sentence Sunday is a weekly blog event where authors post brief excerpts from their work. Comments and feedback are always welcome, and do visit the home blog to see what others are posting.

29 comments:

  1. Lovely six! I love Ben! He's the kinda guy we all should have. But, I never was that lucky.

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  2. Aww, he's trying. How very sweet.

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  3. Ben is tender and so awkwardly male. Very nice six!

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  4. Lovely description, I could see it all. Ben's a keeper!

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  5. this guy sounds like a true hero ... well done!

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  6. Aw! You sure know how to melt the reader's heart.

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  7. Awww. So sweet. Poignant and tender. Ben's a great hero.

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  8. How sweet! I'm curious to know their story.

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  9. Do men really know what to do with a crying woman? Guess in this case be tender and loving

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  10. Very sweet and tender moment. Thank you for posting.

    Best,
    Allure

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  11. Aww, what a lovely scene...and I love how he tries to care for her, even though he's not sure if he's doing it right. Bless his cottons, what a nice bloke! Love this six xx

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  12. So sweet! Gotta love a guy who takes time to be tender.... NIce post!

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  13. *sniffle* can I have one like that? Great six!

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  14. How sweet and touching. Great to see a guy who actually cares about a lady's feelings, and is not just itching to get into her panties!

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  15. D'awww. That's really sweet. It's funny how, when they don't know what to do, they revert to whatever their mothers did when they were young. Great six!

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  16. Yes, a sweet and touching moment, written so well. Now what does a woman do with a crying guy? The same, or slap him upside the head? Certainly, it'd depend on what he was crying about.

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  17. Very touching six! A great hero and a truly gentle man!

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  18. Points for trying I suppose. Some heroes are just a bit clueless. Good thing they're cute!

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  19. Clueless or not, he sounds like he's doing just fine. I have trouble pushing aside shiny new stories to finish up old ones too.

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  20. Having put off edits on two manuscripts to work on a third, I know what you mean.

    Poor woman! Though at least the hero is doing all the right things.

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